Music is an important part of my creative process. I always listen to music while creating, and what I listen to greatly influences what I create. So today I thought I’d share with you a few songs that I’ve been listening to a lot while creating recently!
ionnalee – Samaritan
I found out a few days ago (!!) that Jonna Lee (aka iamamiwhoami) had released something new as ionnalee. AND I DIDN’T KNOW. AND IT’S BRILLIANT. I could’ve listened to this for a whole month but haven’t! I’m very upset! Anyway, the audiovisual above made me confused and emotional as usual with Jonna Lee haha. <3
Jonathan Johansson – Old News
Jonathan Johansson falls under my top ten when it comes to music. I just love him so much. (Lebensraum is probs my most listened to album.) I haven’t listened to Love & Devotion that much yet but Old News has been running on repeat quite a lot. Heh.
Vérité – Somebody Else
This is a cover of a 1975 song! I actually really like the original too, but this cover is just so sooooooooothing and lovely.
alt-J – In Cold Blood
Okay, this video is like an stroboscopic nightmare, but the song is really amazing. I love alt-J.
Oh Wonder – Ultralife
I’ve realised I’ve picked songs from a few of my most listened to artists and bands throughout this post, and this is no exception. Oh Wonder is just amazing, and I love Ultralife. It makes me happi.
And that was it! ionnalee’s Samaritan is probs the one I’ve listened to the most out of these, but they’re all quality songs. Yup.
I was in Stockholm on Friday the Seventh. I was in Stockholm to get the pictures from the exhibition I was part of. I was pretty happy. I went up the rainbow coloured escalator and was pretty happy.
At that moment a truck ran over people in the city centre. At that very moment there was a terror attack not that far from me.
I’m so horrified by what has happened. I don’t know how to handle this. My sister walked for half an hour to get to me, and after that we spent hours trying to find a safe route home to her apartment. I don’t think I’ve ever been so scared. People told me about shootings and attacks all over the city (none of which turned out to be true – thank god) and nowhere felt safe.
But I was so lucky, because I made it home safe. I’ve spent the weekend with my family. We had baked potatoes. Bought a bouquet of flowers. Had that ceremonial and specific kind of candy we have together every year around the day that my father died.
For me that indescribable loss was eleven years ago. For someone else it’s two days.
I have a hard time figuring out what to do know. But I think we just have to continue.
Stay brave, stay strong and stay united against hate.
April 5th is never a good day. It is The Worst Day, or at least it was eleven years ago. That was the day my father died. I wrote a post about it last year where I told you things about the situation that I hadn’t properly talked to anyone about. You can read it here.
I thought there was something special about last year, as it was ten years. An even number. A full decade. It was the weirdest thing, but I would say that the sorrow is just as intense this year. People (me included) keep pretending like there’s a significant difference between ten and eleven years. But I’ve realised it’s just 365 days. The number ten punched me in the face last year, but so does eleven. And so will twelve. The pain doesn’t fluctuate dramatically – it changes gradually.
But my biggest issue with this eleventh year is that I live so far away from his grave. With everything else going on I might not make it to his grave this year. And that hurts me. I feel like I’ve left him. Like he thinks I don’t care. I feel like I’ve betrayed him.
But I want him to know that I do care. I’m going to light all the candles I can today. And maybe I’ll even travel all the way to get there, even if it’s just for a few minutes. But at the same time I know that the stone and the flowers and the church isn’t what really matters – isn’t he more present in my memories than he is in that stone? Isn’t he more present in the blood that runs through my veins? The colour of my eyes? Isn’t he more alive in me and my sister than anywhere else?
Maybe I’ll just lay some flowers for him in my heart. Maybe I’ll hug my sister a little bit longer the next time I see her.
Or maybe I’ll spend some time remembering everything. Maybe I’ll even tell you the story of how he used to have little slideshows with diapositives from his adventures. About how he’d bring out that big screen, show us pictures and tell me and my sister stories. He told so many stories. Maybe I’ll even tell you about how we didn’t have room for a Christmas tree one year, but he wouldn’t give up so we hung the tree from the ceiling with a cut off plastic bottle at the bottom for watering it. How he covered said plastic bottle in tin foil to make it “pretty”. Maybe I’ll just take a moment to remember these things today.
Maybe that’s how I honour his memory today. Flowers in my heart and shared stories with my sister. Because I do care. But most of all, I miss him.
It’s Errore Digitale at Monk Roma and is organised by Manifesto Delle Visioni Parallele. Lapalux will be performing his music live, and among the other artists is Giacomo Carmagnola who is actually the artist through which I found pixel sorting. ISN’T THAT COOL.
I was super excited this weekend to try to take a spontaneous trip to Rome on Friday, and I haven’t really decided what I’m going to do. But I must admit it feels cool to have my name on an event picture like I was playing at a festival or something.
There’ll be four printed images by me there! Since I’m guessing like probably none of you will be able to go I thought I’d show you the pictures I’ve chosen for this exhibition! Here they are: Astrid. Cleo. Johanna II.Lola.
So that’s about it! Really excitingggggggg.
Hope you’re all well.